Saturday, October 1, 2011

live life with meaning...What is your Destination?

After posting on Destination Creativity and Art retreats, I became very emotional.  After typing the title "Destination Creativity" several times, I became aware that this is exactly my "goal"  DESTINATION CREATIVITY.   I have made reference several times to my "goal"of being more creative and connecting with the "art community"  I am trying to spend more time creating art and building relationships with artist.  What you may not know is my reason for wanting to do this. 

I have been working as a home health Hospice nurse for several years.  Working with terminally ill people gives you a new perspective.  It certainly makes you re assess your own life.  If I knew I only had 1  year.. 6 months..1 month..1 week... 1 would I live my life?  How do I want the world, my family, my friends to remember me?  I know the answer.  I want them to remember me as a loving, compassionate and giving person.  I think art is my way of connecting with people.  I fee like Nursing is my "calling"  I sometimes feel like I don't have a choice in this.  I feel that I have been called to serve my fellow man in this way.  I feel like because I have been blessed with the ability to provide loving care...then I MUST do it.....but creating art is MY choice.  

When I am gone, I hope one way I am remember is through my art.  The care and love I provide to patents will fade over time. They will pass on, there families will also...but creating art is a way  of making my mark permanently.  I feel exhilarated when I create something that would not exist without my hand.  Each piece I create means I was HERE...I LIVED. and........I created.  I'm becoming more emotional as I type this because I see people pass away often in spiritual pain, searching for there meaning.  wishing they could have a "do over" we all know..we only get one shot.  
I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis  in 2006.  I know the odds of me loosing my ability to function as I do now are great. I have been very lucky and have lost little function since my diagnosis but I am painfully aware that today may be the last day I walk.  If today is my last day to walk, or to work, or to create, or to live..I want it to be spent with meaning.  Each day I work and provide service to patents, I feel has meaning.  And each day I spend creating art is also filled with meaning.  

but then there are those shitty days you have to do house work and laundry!!!  

 but even in the mundane, you can find meaning

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